best chain email ever…

This is one of my favorite chain emails. In fact, I like it so much that I printed it and it proudly displays on my desk…

I’m guilty of numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 8, and 10 every day. I may need to work on my office etiquette.

Memo: Cursing at Work

Dear Employees:

 

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative ‘TRY SAYING’ phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

 

Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

 

Number 2

TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She’s a f___ing bit__.

 

Number 3

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late .

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

 

Number 4

TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

 

Number 5

TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh___ing me!

 

Number 6

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

 

Number 7

TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f___ing problem.

 

Number 8

TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

 

Number 9

TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

 

Number 10

TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn’t you tell me sooner?

 

Number 11

TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

 

Number 12

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

 

Number 13

TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__..

 

Number 14

TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I’m on salary.

 

Number 15

TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

 

Number 16

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

 

Number 17

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

 

Number 18

TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

 

Thank You,

Human Resources

 

Hello world!

Well, I’m back and I’m riled up….

The earlier lovey dovey posts, the pondering about my love life or lack thereof, and mancandy are all taking a back seat for a moment on my earlier blog, Love is My Alter Ego, I think.  I’m in the process of trying to doll up this site and define its purpose but until I’m officially ready to let go of L.i.M.A.E, I will probably posts on both.

I started The Dress Up Doll to highlight my varied interests; depending on the audience, the social group, or my general mood, a different part of my personality dominates. At times I’m embracing my inner Angela Davis, other times Rachel Ray and I are on the same page, and I would even say there’s an inner Martha Stewart that finds Michael’s orgasmic. Unfortunately,  L.i.M.A.E was beginning to seem a bit too schizophrenic and chaotic. I also felt restricted in my ability to justify posting about politics, sociology, recipes, beauty, etc….I find those things just as interesting, if not more, than meeting “Mr. Right Now” ”Mr. Right”. Feel free to browse either site to see what I’m babbling about.

Oh Lordy, I could barely consistently remember to post on one blog….

One of my favorite sites, GOOD.is, had this amazing infographic depicting food security. Now, many of my peers may not have this as a concern but as a public health worker and a single mother on a strict budget. Planning a healthy meal, grocery shopping, and living within my means is a very real concern. Honestly, there’s been a time that I’ve foregone a meal, eaten a smaller portion, or NOT eaten to make sure that the mini-me had a health share….

…google+…

So, the past week, I’ve felt like Willy Wonka handing out Golden tickets to those wanting an invite to Google+. At first, it was an ego booster to be the “first” of my peers to be on the site. Then…

Google+ is a lonely world when you don’t have a lot of followers or people to follow. Secondly, I feel like a techy-reject. The learning curve migrating from Facebook to Google+ seems to be a big one for me. I won’t say how long it took for me to find the “invite friends” link.

I will say that it is quite pleasing to know that I won’t log in to see the tags of people in Nike photo albums or the Louboutin sale album. *whew!*That is a relief.

Although, Google+ seems to be a stalker’s dream application, not saying I’m going to stalk anyone, but the application does make it simpler than Facebook. Hell, the locator feature lets a potential stalker know exactly where you are. Seriously though, I am a little fearful that I will inadvertently divulge my location at the exact moment that a potential boo interrogates my whereabouts. I already suck at lying, it would be my luck that the boo is logged in to Google+ to verify.

A bonus of the application is that the fear that arises in thinking that one day there will be a Facebook app that let’s people know who has visited a person’s page and the number of times is nonexistent. *whew!* Not that I Facebook stalk or anything.

 

….estelle: please don’t break my heart…

Love this damn song….

 

…elements of happiness…

I meant to share this some time ago. I wish I could say that I did not due to an excessively busy life but in reality, I just didn’t feel like it. Since I can’t get to sleep, I figured I would catch up on my blogs and perhaps share a little….

For years, researchers at Harvard conducted a longitudinal study by following a group of  people through periods in life.  The case studies were compiled into book format and conclusions were drawn about the meaning of a happy life. I found it to be quite fascinating, particularly because of the great deal of research to conduct a longitudinal study over 72 years and the rate of participation among the cohorts was phenomenal. Simply reading the document, “The Elements of Happiness,” on the website is sort of cool too.

….this. God. thanks….

Things have been going ok,, they could be better……

I’m certain that at some point all the pieces will begin to fit and this current state of being discontent will end. In the meantime, I’m adding this to my inspiration board….

Dear God,

Something like this. Soon. Thanks. With a good man who is smart, loving, kind, stable, loyal and easy on the eyes.

….And it wont hurt if he’s rich and built like a porn star (a good porn, not one of those sorry pathetic low-budget ones with fat people and men with little dicks).

Thanks.

~Kim

…the opportunity gap…

 

I took a break from analyzing disease data to read a few articles focused on improving the disparities among minorities. This graphic coupled with the article from The Children’s Defense Fund was quite troubling.

According to the data provided:

Family Structure
• Fewer than 40 percent of all Black children live with two parents, compared to about 75
percent of White children.
• Fifty percent of Black children live with only their mother. Black children are almost three
times as likely to live with their mother only as are White children.
• Black children are more than twice as likely as other children to live with neither parent.
About five percent of Black children live with grandparents and just over two percent live with
other relatives.
• Black children are seven times as likely as White children to have a parent in prison. • Black families with children have median incomes almost half those of White families. In
2009 the median income for Black families with children was $33,915 and $61,775 for White
families with children.
• The median income for a Black female-headed household with one or more children and
without a husband present was $22,158, barely above the poverty level for a family of
three. Almost half of Black female-headed households with children were poor.

• Black youth have the highest unemployment rate: nearly one in three Black high school
graduates age 16 to 24 are unemployed. Before the recession began one in five of these
high school graduates was unemployed.
• Black youth age 16 to 24 face the worst employment rates. In November 2010, only 43
percent of recent Black high school graduates and 73 percent of Black college graduates
were working.
• The unemployment rate for Black males (16.7%) age 20 and over was almost twice as high
as the unemployment rate for White males (9.2%).
• The 2008 Current Population Survey estimates that the employment rate among Black male
dropouts (excluding those in jail or prison) is 40 percent, however this rate falls to 25 percent
when inmates are included in the population count.

 

I couldn’t believe the numbers and I had to say a prayer to acknowledge that I have been blessed. I tell the mini-me often that the odds are against us both but when I see numbers such as this, it makes me work even harder.

 

 

….on the shoulders of giants…

“…It’s time to redefine  who we are…”

Well, yesterday, I posted about the documentary, Dark Girls, on the blog as well as on my Facebook profile…The posts both seem to have taken on lives of their own.

Thing is, I had one more little treasure to share that I contemplated posting. With all the buzz about basketball, this attracted my attention. Of course, the mention of the Harlem Renaissance and jazz kept my interest.

I saved this little jewel for the blog because I felt that my wonderful blog audience would appreciate this more and if you were subjected to the dumb comments/status updates on Facebook, you would feel the same.

…dark girls….

This is a powerful and moving trailer for the documentary being shown at the Black Film Festival in Nashville. It prompted me to look at airfare to attend instead of saving for the Toronto Film Festival or a potential trip to Jamaica.

Colorism exist in Black society and having been the butt of many jokes about my lighter complexion (as recently as last weekend) I am aware that it still exist. I may never know the full weight of the “color burden,” I am aware that it is still a challenge to overcome.

Growing up, my parents never made my siblings or me feel badly that we were of varying complexions. We just seemed to “fit” with the image portrayed in the show, The Cosby’s. We varied in complexion from the lightness of Sandra to the darker hue of Theo. Visible to everyone was a first edition of poems by Paul Laurence Dunbar.  Little Brown Baby, was one of the first poems I ever read and I was well aware of complexion differences but I did not realize how much it affected the Black community until I started school…

I could rattle off stories from third grade to last week that reference complexion; from the little school kids that asked, “Are you mixed?” or asked, “Are you adopted?” to going out on a date after having had a fresh perm in my hair and the guy asking, “Are you ALL black?” However, I’m sure my growing pains are minor in comparison to the comments I’m sure many of my friends endured.

…breakfast in bed…

After he left….

I fixed myself breakfast in bed, on a serving tray, with juice, fruit, and a good book to read. I carried the tray to the bedroom, turned on the morning news, and proceeded to eat one of the best omelets I have ever fixed.

One day, I will do this for someone other than myself….for the guy that I don’t want to leave….the one that makes me think “He does exist!”

Until then…..